Thursday/Early Friday Funny

[Ummgawa]

Two South Alabama Rednecks (also known as LA rednecks) were walking into one of their houses. On the porch, set one of em's hound dog just lickin' away at his go-nads.

They both stopped, one said, "Man. I wish I could do that"

The other one said, "That dog would bite yoouuuu!"

[Jimmy Sean]

Now that was Funny

Here is another - Retirement Humor

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.



The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.



The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.



The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured

replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief

insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.



The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape

measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.



"Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"



The old Chief calmly replied, " Vietnam ."

[Derek69SS]

Question: Why do dogs lick their balls?

Wrong answer: Because they can.

Correct answer: Have you ever tasted dogs' balls? They're delicious!

[Ummgawa]

OK where are the bite marks....