Ever say one thing and mean something completely different? - Lateral-g Forums

**Ummgawa** · #1 11-25-2005, 05:24 PM

A few buddies and myself were having lunch last week and one of my buddies said, "Have any of you guys said one thing and meant something completely different?" asked him to give us an example of what he might be talking about and he said, "Ya know, you ask for a hammer and you get a screwdriver, then he or she swears you asked for a screwdriver all along, or, when you go to the drive thru and ask for a double cheeze burger and they give you a chicken sandwich then you wonder if you really did", we all agreed we had done that when one of the older guys in the group said, "Yea, something like that happened the other day when my Wife and I were eating dinner". After a moment of silence, he said, "we were having a nice, quiet, dinner together" more silence.."I asked here to pass the butter but it came out ' You've ruined my life you blood sucking_________" insert the following:

"Woman totally lacking in any form of a moral or ethical code'."
"Woman of Ill repute"
"Woman of Relaxed Sexual Standards"
"Other"

**Ricochet** · #2 11-25-2005, 05:42 PM

Jim-

Your killing me!!

On another note..What ever happened with the Chevelle?

**Ummgawa** · #3 11-25-2005, 06:59 PM

It is currently in the middle of a legal battle, now ain't that a hoot!! Apparently every one that ever spoke to the old man about his cars claims he "Promised" to sell one of his cars to them. He's the kind of guy that will take a can of gas and set em all on fire. That Chevelle is the most clapped out rusted junker you will ever see, but it has the right engine block (somebody stole the intake, carb, heads, etc.)and somebody will probably get either disowned or killed over it. That and the other 30+ cars he has.

Travis Rankin · #4 11-25-2005, 07:03 PM

good stuff!

The best one ive done was after a guy was telling me the problems he was having with his carb, I said.. "sounds like you've got stinky lickage"

Whoops

hotwheels · #5 11-26-2005, 10:49 AM

That sucks man........

I did have this happen the other day, not with the wife, but a coworker...

This guy was wanting to get a permit to do some welding on my unit, i asked him where, and he told me at the N2 skid...so i told him that i already put out a permit for that section. He tells' me again, but this time, he slammed his hands on the table and said, Just give me a permit.....so i got upset, and grabbed a permit out of the drawer, and slammed it, and said "mother****er"....out of disgust of the conversation........he then went to my boss and said i called him a "mother****er"......i was angry when i said what i said, but it wasn't aimed at anyone......i was just mad......so i ended up getting in trouble for using profanity......oh well, just thought i would share that......

PhaseShift · #6 11-28-2005, 06:13 AM

I do that stuff all the time- My Chinese is terrible and I am forever screwing it up.
-Phil to taxi Driver: Stop at the Soy Sauce station.... No, no, stop at the gas station. Jiang yo chang = soy sauce station Jai yo chang = gas station.

Shase Phift -

69rs · #7 11-28-2005, 07:36 PM

I was totally sucked in! You went a long way for it, but it was good. I guess I should have known, coming from you. What are they putting in the water on the other side of town?

Van B · #8 11-28-2005, 09:19 PM

Curious why you edited the original wording.?.?

**Ummgawa** · #9 11-29-2005, 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 69lt1

Curious why you edited the original wording.?.?

My 11 year old daughter was looking over my sholder,asked me if my name was "Ummgawa" on Lateral-G, I said yes, and she asked me why I typed the "W" word when I should not. I promised her that I would change it.

As she used to say when she first began to talk, "Shamey, Shamey, Daddy"