A star tries to give back... again:)

[intocarss]

AND WE'RE BACK!!!! :hello: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[fleet]

AND WE'RE BACK!!!! :hello: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Jerry.....

:hello:


@patsajak via twitter

"Tried to pay for lunch with a carbon credit. Had to switch to Visa."


lol

[intocarss]

Skipah :grouphug:

[fleet]

Jer,

Would you mind if we first went this route instead?



lol

[intocarss]

:lmao: :lmao:

[fleet]

@patsajak via twitter..

"Oddly enough, I use a State Department email address."



:popcorn2:

[Justin@EntropyRad]

Sajak is a BAMF..who knew!

[fleet]

@patsajak via twitter...

Advice to hosts at restaurants frequented by Hillary Clinton: do not say, "I'll send over your server."

[fleet]

@patsajak via twitter...

"I love taking pictures with fans.

And most of them seem to understand the need for the $10 service charge."



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak via twitter...

"In over 32 years of Wheel, Pat Sajak has remained conscious in all but 12 episodes. #WheelFunFacts "

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Can't wait for Amazon Drone Delivery. Tired of waiting 24 hours for my nail clippers and tube sox to arrive."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak via twitter...

"Nearly run over by noiseless electric car in lot. At least it would have dramatically decreased my carbon footprint."


:drive:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Governing has gotten easier now that everything has been boiled down to three choices: mandate, ban or decree."

@patsajak:

"After being in Eastern snow 2 days ago, nice to be lying out in the LA sun. Suit & tie uncomfortable, but still nice."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Google privacy policy: you have none."

[intocarss]

:hello: :patriot:

[fleet]

Thanks Jer, your post reminded me to look in on the oldest U.S. born game show host working on a non-cable access game show. Trebek's a Canuck...not that there's anything wrong with that. And that Bob Barker guy now just works for some animal husbandry cabal IIRC.

:thankyou:

-----------------------------------------------------

@patsajak:

"Next one who interrupts conversation to check cell phone will be placed in choke hold. Jail time worth satisfaction."


:lol:


@patsajak:

"Driver that cut me off on 405: Appreciate your bumper sticker, but maybe 1st we should learn to coexist on freeway."


Sounds like Pat is uber-pissed.

:ohsnap:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Having great family fun watching household staff search for eggs.

If butler's lead holds up, it'll be 3 wins in row!"



:lol:

[intocarss]

^^ :rofl: :rofl: ^^

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"To help CA water shortage, I've placed a brick in each toilet. The splashing is annoying, but happy to do my part."



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Only when we have enough laws to properly govern our behavior can we truly enjoy the freedoms of America."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"The Fifth Beatle. #WhosLaughingNow "

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Is it just me, or is there something different about Bruce Jenner?"


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"When I had minimum wage jobs, my goal was to better myself, not to better the minimum wage."

[Shmoov69]

@patsajak:

"When I had minimum wage jobs, my goal was to better myself, not to better the minimum wage."

AMEN!!!:shakehead:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Thinnest material known to man: a journalist's skin."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Without mankind despoiling the planet, animals would be free to roam, stalk, kill and eat each other."



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Very excited about my handmade jewelry collection. This beautiful brooch only $3,500."


#theWheelAndTheRoomMustBeSpinning


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Movie idea: Internet system destroyed in 2030. No one able to learn anything, locate things, communicate in person."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"The quadrennial spectacle begins. Presidential candidates trying to figure out how to pretend they're regular folks."


OP- oddly enough, former president and former actor Mr. Ronald Reagan had no problem showing who he really was....IMHO. :)

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Remember this: If you make the most out of every minute, you'll be totally exhausted in about an hour and a half."


:popcorn2:

[Ron Sutton]

@patsajak:

"Remember this: If you make the most out of every minute, you'll be totally exhausted in about an hour and a half."


:popcorn2:

LOL. True.

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Happy Earth Day.

I've sent lumps of bituminous coal to all my friends."


#notillegalyet


:rolleyes:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"It's #WorldBookDay. I say that as proud owner of nearly a dozen books & I've read the @SparkNotes for most of them."

#morewinning

lol


@patsajak: In baseball brawls, why do relievers run out from bullpen to join in; why don't they just fight each other out there?

:bitchslap:

#speedingupthegame

[intocarss]

This thread is FULL OF WINNING

[fleet]

This thread is FULL OF WINNING

Thanks Jer.

I think it started as a 17 yr. old freshman in college. One of my older roommates was a Charles Manson doppelgänger.

I soon had a #winner of a drug habit.


:ohsnap:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Just heard I didn't win an Emmy tonight. Talking with my legal team about a recount."

#dontleaveushangingChad...uhPat

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Normally I don't like sequels, but just read Shakespeare's "Richard II." I can't wait to read the first one."


OP- like all of us, sometimes Pat has better weeks than others. Or, all his writers left.

lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Will be in Vegas this weekend. I hear the town is already really buzzing. Don't know how word got out I was coming."


Bad twitter week continues for Pat IMHO...lol.

Reminded me of when Johnny Carson would struggle.

q-aRER7ssUo

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Warming up for Trebek vs. Sajak."


:catfight:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Look for falloff in quality of my Tweets soon. Head writer is taking 2 weeks off for his Middle School Summer Camp."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Okay, it might be time to draw some boundaries. (Or at least a line in the sand.)"


:waveflag:

[intocarss]

:snapout: :thankyou:

[fleet]

Thanks Jer... I think. :_paranoid


@patsajak:

"Brian Williams banished to MSNBC. I thought the Constitution prohibited cruel and unusual punishment."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I never forget about the fans. When someone waves at my car, I always have my driver wave back."


@patsajak:

"Interesting primary poll in Iowa. Three Kansas City @Royals tied for lead."


@patsajak:

"I think I've lost my appetite."

[fleet]

@patsajak: I enjoy watching fluffy clouds. #InoffensiveTweets

--------------------------------------------

The peanut gallery came thru...lol



@Marjan_Lion: @patsajak I find clouds offensive. ;)

@Realspaceman: @patsajak The word "fluffy" is still under investigation. :)

@RichardJSunkle: @patsajak For your sake I hope its a diverse mix of clouds.

@Cptn_murica: Cloudist pig. Ignoring those non-fluffy clouds. @patsajak

@egrjr63: @patsajak I'm offended that you have sight. There are people who cannot enjoy looking at fluffy clouds.

@NadineCoyleVEVO: @patsajak and what about the skinny ones? Stop body shaming these clouds.

@555ft: @DMR_MI @patsajak

Excellent point...
Cloud discrimination might just be an atmospheric micro-aggression. ��

@The26thMan: @patsajak This girl at work says her kids call her fluffy instead of fat. Tomorrow I'm telling her about your offensive tweet.

__________________________________________


:sarcasm_smiley:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Happy 4th to the Founders, with appreciation and apologies."


:flag2:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Welcome to the Hotel California. You can check out any time you'd like, but bring your own water."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Going to a big Hollywood pool party later. It's BYOW. #LastDroughtJoke #DroughtsAreNotFunny #PeopleSufferInDroughts"


@patsajak:

"Those who become followers in the next 48 hours will be exempted from the standard sign-up fee."

#WheelguySarcasm


@patsajak:

"Some candidates are reversing their positions so quickly, they need to install backup cameras."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"More details on Iran nuke deal: Tehran gets two second-round draft choices from JV team."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Ryan Seacrest is knocking on my door. Should I answer? It's awfully late."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I'm separating my trash. Are snail shells recyclable?"


#thatsentertainment

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Getting better at this selfie thing."



:popcorn2:

[intocarss]

:thumbsup:

[fleet]

:thumbsup:

Thanks Jer...interesting new avi btw.


:D


@patsajak:

"Who started with the full-length windows at health clubs? Generally speaking, it's not a pretty sight for passers-by."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Topped off my gas tank today. Thinking of jaywalking later. I love living on the edge. #Rebel"


(Google 'gas pumping smiley' and this is what happens...lol)

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Happy to announce my merger with AT&T. From now on, I'm Patat&t."


#GGisAllInOnThat

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I would support capital punishment for those who use their windshield washers in traffic with cars behind them."

@patsajak:

"I don't mind farm-to table food, but I hope there's at least a quick stop at a sink."

@patsajak:

"A Dodger Stadium mystery."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Damn you, @TMZ!"



:lol:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Exciting breakthrough near: Climate scientists close to perfecting giant thermostat to regulate earth's temperature!"

:wow:


TyobkmaZMxs

lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Okay, I'm going in. Just have to decide between a $5,000 wedge or the full wheel."


#desperatelyseekingVannasApproval ...lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Dryer lint screen. #UnderappreciatedInventions"

:popcorn2:

@patsajak:

"The Irony of our Age: There are more places than ever to say things, but fewer things than ever allowed to be said."

@patsajak:

"Just received an email from the Clinton campaign. Must be important; it's marked "Top Secret."

[Because Racecar]

That last one! :tv_happy:

[intocarss]

:military:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"If Hollywood were really Progressive, they would get rid of Oscars and Emmys and award participation trophies."


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Great news from my agent! I'm next in line to play Colonel Sanders!"

@patsajak:

"17 Republicans running for president vs. 5 Democrats, but, in amazing coincidence, cumulative ages exactly the same."

@patsajak:

"I'm working on a "Wheel" rap song. Got the words vowels, prowls, towels, owls and bowels, but still lacking context."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Treasure Island" is being remade with some modern twists. Now Long John Silver suffers from Restless Peg Syndrome."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I mean no offense by this tweet."


:lol:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Just finished leftover fried chicken and a Hostess Cupcake, because breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Almost run off the road this afternoon by some guy making an undocumented U-turn."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"VMAs or Bachelor? Compromised with @FoodNetwork."


#waytoManup... :P

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I wonder who heads up the ESPN Suspendable Tweets Division?"

"Dangerous new movement gaining strength in United States: Occupy Space."


lol

[intocarss]

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[fleet]

Jerry...

:hello:


@patsajak:

"Given the negative connotations of the term "game show host," we prefer to be known as "entertainment facilitators."


lol

[intocarss]

Skippah :hello: :relax:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"It's been nice to see the softer side of Mrs. Clinton. Take that, you candidate warming deniers!"



:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"True story, I swear. Going to work in LA today and saw a bicyclist in one of the bike lanes!"


@ChoctawRunner: @patsajak

"He might be unwittingly supporting Governor Moonbeam's assisted suicide legislation."


lol

[intocarss]

@patsajak:

"True story, I swear. Going to work in LA today and saw a bicyclist in one of the bike lanes!"


@ChoctawRunner: @patsajak

"He might be unwittingly supporting Governor Moonbeam's assisted suicide legislation."


lol Sad but true :bang:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Maybe I should just grab a cab."


:lol:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"If you drove 5 miles less per day, that would be 35 fewer miles per week."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Instead of debating climate policy, shouldn't we be evacuating places that will be under water in 5-10 yrs? #PlanAhe"


:drowninga:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Given the monumental traffic tie-ups, security & logistical problems, shouldn't the Pope just have used FaceTime?"



:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

Pope: "Flee the temptation of narcissism." Sajak: "What, and give up show business?"

lol


@patsajak:

"Photobombing a Polaroid shot on the set more than 20 years ago. I was a man ahead of my time."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Surprised to see profile of me in Weekend Wall Street Journal. I thought reporter was trying to sell a subscription."


http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-conservative-wheelman-1443218583

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I'm driving a half marathon today. Must remember to stay hydrated."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Following Washington National's precedent, if I'm attacked by Vanna during show, I expect her suspended for season."


#Othehumanity


t1HjwToIdSU

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Split my time between CA and MD. Drought in CA, flash flood watch in MD. At least it averages out perfectly. #stats"

"Somewhere along the line politicians discovered it's more fun to tell people how to live than it is to fix potholes."

"I embarrassed myself in a discussion with Vanna tonight, confusing the Paleolithic & Neolithic Periods. #Mortified"

"Is it my imagination, or did we start downhill when the Personnel Department became Human Resources?"

[fleet]

@patsajak:
"Glad hurricane computer models were so wrong. I'm sure models for the future are more accurate. #SettledScience"

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Apparently I've reached the age where, even if nothing hurts, I'm required to grunt when I stand up. #ThatsAttractive"


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Since House Speaker does not have to be a member of Congress, I'm thinking of running. Perfect for a game show host."


:thankyou:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Before it becomes a career-damaging sentiment, Happy Columbus Day."

lol

#sadbuttrue

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"CNN still deciding first debate question. Either, "Why do you want to be President?" or "What's your favorite color?"

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Pete Rose on Fox Sports 1 makes betting on baseball only his second greatest offense."


lol

[intocarss]

Keep em coming :G-Dub:

[fleet]

Keep em coming :G-Dub:

Jer,

Yer monthly financial $upport makes it possible.

:thankyou:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I didn't think Joe Biden was running until I rearranged the letters in his name to spell "I need job." Hmmmm."



:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Political debate and discussion have pretty much died and been replaced by dueling talking points. It's exhausting!"


@patsajak:

"Nice of Joe Biden to leave it to the young folks."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Remember that happiness can't be determined by the size of one's wallet, but by the purchasing power of its contents."



#Thatssomewheelwisdomrightthere

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I plan to blow out my birthday candles early and spend the rest of the day recovering."

#He'sEvenOlderThanWeld

:wow:


@patsajak:

"Another correction to my Wikipedia bio: though I often performed with the Four Tops, I was never an official member."


lol

[RECOVERY ROOM]

just read some of this stuff... Funny

[fleet]

just read some of this stuff... Funny

I'll let Pat know. Heard he's a big fan of your work too.

#wheelmenlikeleather

:D


----------------------------------------------------------

@patsajak:

"Re tonight's debate: The whirring sound you hear is journalists turning over in their graves."


@patsajak:

"Having a great time in Montana."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Note to trick-or-treaters: my electrified fence will be deactivated between 5 and 9 tonight."


#hasalawyeronretainer

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"My time management skills are improving. I've been an hour early to everything the last couple of days."


#wonderifVannalaughedatthistweet

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"You used to call me on my, you used to, you used to, yeah, you used to call me on my cell phone."

#thatsgonnabeahit

:lol:


@patsajak:

"To avoid confusion, beginning tonight Vanna and I will be introduced as the hearts of the show. Hope this helps."

#twittersbetteridea

:shakehead:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Russian activist offering 5,000 rubles to 1st person who yells, "Этот балет действительно ужасно!" at Bolshoi ballet."

(via google translator...'This ballet is really terrible.')


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"The Bill O'Reilly/George Will Celebrity Tennis Tournament has been postponed. No makeup dates have been announced."


lol

:catfight:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Happy Veterans Day to all my fellow vets and their families, with deepest appreciation."


:military: :flag2:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Wheel fun fact: Vanna and I left show 3 years ago, but still receive fees from use of our computer-generated images."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"On this Friday the 13th, I laugh at large hotels that don't have a 13th floor. They do. It's called the 14th floor."


#thatswhyhemakesthebiggbux

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"In new TV popularity poll, I finished just behind my cardboard cutout. Thanks to all who voted."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Taping "Wheel" today. Except for some occasional coded language from Vanna, it's my safe space."

lol


"Weather Channel has goofy policy of naming winter storms. Bad enough to shovel snow; now you have to shovel Bella."

#buckleupkitten

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"All this on-campus bleating will be a boon to online colleges. Who's going to want to send their kids into all that?"

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm suspending $20 surcharge on photos & autographs through Friday."


"Just found out that turducken is prepared using 3 different birds, so I can stop those weird breeding experiments."

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"I'm sure someone from the PC police is angry about it for some reason. Still, have a Happy Thanksgiving!"



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Microwave aggression."


:sarcasm_smiley:

[fleet]

@patsajak:

"Loved the mahi mahi and couscous in Pago Pago. Next stop: Walla Walla."


"Love new College PC Dictionary. Lists inoffensive words & phrases. Very handy and, at 6 pages long, easy to carry."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Bluetooth cell phones and headsets have made it much more difficult to identify the crazy people."


"After Thanksgiving Thursday, Black Friday and Cyber Monday, it's kind of relaxing to have an unnamed Tuesday."


"Before & After: Climate Justice of the Peace."


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I tried to join the movement to curtail free speech on campus, but I couldn't get any of my bumper stickers approved."


#winning


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Lost one of my dearest friends today. Robert Loggia. A great actor and an even greater guy."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Sunday Night Scolding."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"New categories being considered for next season: What’s That I Smell?, Shakespearean Anagrams & Tipographical Errors"

"Quick question: If the Earth cools too much, do we ADD greenhouse gases? #TryingToLearn

"Anyone hear anything about a new Star Wars movie?"

"At last! Global warming solved in Paris! Thanks, guys. Time to move on to lesser problems."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Is there a male in TV who wouldn't be out of work tonight if he'd used Barbara Walters' language about a woman?"

------------------------------------------------------

Sajak is referencing Walters' Bradley Cooper interview.

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Been standing in line for days. Been waiting for years. Finally, the premiere of the new Alvin & the Chipmunks movie."

:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"HRC scored well with Common Core math students. 88% thought she won debate...23% for Sanders...remainder to O'Malley."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I wonder how people showed their commitment to causes before hashtags?#ICareAboutThings"


#wefeelyourpainBruh


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"TRIGGER WARNING!!

Have a Merry Christmas, everyone!"



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"We solved climate change in 2015, so let's see if we can do something about the Kardashians in 2016. #NextBigProblem"


:thankyou:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"34 years ago today, I began hosting Wheel. I'm always grateful to Merv Griffin for taking a chance on an 11-year-old."


:wow:


lol

[intocarss]

Had to do some catching up . Still gold Cosmo gold!!

[fleet]

Had to do some catching up . Still gold Cosmo gold!!


Jer,

I'll pass that on to Pat.

:thankyou:

[fleet]

@patsajak


"In 2016, I resolve that everything I do will be for the children. #ForTheChildren"


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Fewer people than I thought here in Times Square. The ball didn't even drop. Very disappointing."


:popcorn2:

[intocarss]

Jer,

I'll pass that on to Pat.

:thankyou:

Thanks Skipah!!

[fleet]

Jer,

I'll pass that on to Pat.

:thankyou:

Thanks Skipah!!

Uh...what I should have said was I will; if Sajak ever drops the restraining under against me.

:shakehead:


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I'd invite you all to an end-of-year dinner, but the drive-thru line would be out of control. Happy New Year, anyway!"

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I'll be increasing my "carbon footprint" in '16. It would be helpful if several of you could cut back a bit. Thanks."

:wrongforum:


:lol:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Planning imaginary banquet for my fantasy football team. Will evite friends and followers when virtual venue is set."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"We used to put our phones on hold to deal with people; now we put people on hold to deal with our phones."


#thatstoodeepforme


"Democratic presidential debates being scheduled by man in red-and-white striped shirt and hat known only as Waldo."


#someoneisgettincranky


:D

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Approaching L.A. Or Heaven. Not sure."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Did it again! Talking on cell while walking though house searching for calendar...which is on my cell...in my hand!"

@dadtothestars

"Pat, I just nominated you for 'America's favorite everyman' for 2016....#congrats!"

@patsajak

@dadtothestars "I accept your nomination!"


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"When picking NFL Playoffs, remember: teams with names closer to "A" win. (i.e., "C"hiefs beat "T"exans.) #Foolproof"



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"If I win next Powerball drawing, I promise to split winnings evenly with all my followers. #TakeThePowerballPledge"


lol

[seancarole]

https://www.dropbox.com/s/razd9x0rnd7c4s9/2015-12-19%2017.37.30.jpg?dl=0

[fleet]

@patsajak

"The Revenant is a fine film, but I'm really excited about next year's Broadway musical version."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Too much money for pro athletes! What about people who really make a difference in the world, like game show hosts?"


"After all the machinations, it will end up as Ryan vs. Biden. (If I'm right, I'm a genius. If I'm wrong, I delete.)"


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Weather Channel decides to name coming winter storm Jonas. Would have preferred Leon, Sheldon, or possibly Marmaduke."

"Today's Twitter outage was terrible. No one was calling me an idiot except for friends and family."

[intocarss]

Oh Yeah

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Ready for big snow storm. Stocking refrigerator. Buying new shovel & bags of salt. Checking batteries. Going to L.A."


OP- I think that's what they call 'manning up' out in Hollyweird...lol

[fleet]

Oh Yeah


QSzWbNElHOo

[fleet]

@patsajak

"L.A. snowfall totals."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Washington has ground to a halt. Plus, it's snowing a lot."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I hope reports are true and Bloomberg runs for president. After all, large soft drinks are a national problem."

"The traditional rivalry between Carolina and Denver will make this year's Super Bowl even more compelling than usual."


:D

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Hate to rub it in to East, but enjoying a little California sun this afternoon."


#cantUnseethat

:shakehead:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I have 5,326 photos on my computer. I haven't looked at 5,300 of them since the day they were taken."


#Yep

[fleet]

@patsajak

"One week until Super Bowl 50. That leaves just seven days for sports networks to attempt to manufacture stories."



#espnIsShameless

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Iowa caucuses (caucii?) good harbingers of things to come. At least they were for Presidents Huckabee and Santorum."


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"What...and give up show biz?"


OP-less manure in farming


lol

[fleet]

@greggutfeld

"fun fact: @patsajak considered changing his name to Jack Saypat."

@patsajak

@greggutfeld "I see you're still bitter about that court decision blocking your name change to Zippy the Clown."

@greggutfeld

@patsajak "it was Zippy the Picador. Get your facts straight."

@patsajak

@greggutfeld "That doesn't even make any sen--oops, never mind. I forgot for a moment who sent this."


OP- #realmenrealissues

:D

[fleet]

@patsajak

Dear Twitter Trust & Safety Council: Hi. My name is Pat. I promise not to make trouble. You can trust me to be safe.


(LOL...fwiw, here's the :BlahBlah: :BlahBlah: :BlahBlah: Sajak's referring to.)


https://blog.twitter.com/2016/announcing-the-twitter-trust-safety-council

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Going to Grammys tonight. I try to stay connected. Looking forward to seeing some of my favorite Hop Hip artists."

"Hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day!"

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Pitbull stopped by my #GRAMMYs suite and got cocktail wiener caught in throat. Performed Heimlich. He's ready to go."

"Trying to start "Bieber!" chant at #GRAMMYs. Not much luck so far."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Passing out 8x10's of me at freeway off-ramps. #RandomActsOfKindnessDay"


"Forgot to take photo of my breakfast today. Had to draw this from memory."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Good news! Class action suit settled & FBI investigation ended. Pat Sajak School of Broadcasting back in business!"

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Someone at the grocery store just asked if he could buy a vowel. I've got to write that one down so I don't forget."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Driving in DC today. Before they fix the country, they might want to fix their potholes."


"I was doodling & I realized the square of hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to sum of squares of other 2 sides."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I love "Wheel" so much, I'd host it for free. I wouldn't show up all that often or pay much attention, but I'd do it."


#whataguy


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Watched NHL games instead of Oscars. More inclusive."


:tv_happy:

[fleet]

@patsajak


"Read my nephew to sleep last night. You'd think a 35-year-old could could read Rime of the Ancient Mariner by himself."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Getting old if you remember when @MTV meant music, @weatherchannel meant weather and @espn meant scores & highlights."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Nothing says rock 'em, sock 'em, hardnosed #MarchMadness basketball like "Cinderella," "The Big Dance" & "Sweet 16."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Rest in peace, Mrs. Reagan."

#Honor

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I just hope the next 14 debates are as informative and entertaining as the first 46."


:waveflag:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"It took a lot of work, but I hope this clarifies the situation."



#TheMindOfMinolta?


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Shoot for the stars. Even if you miss, you'll land on the moon. Though the lack of atmosphere will kill you instantly."


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"From L.A. Times: "Mountain lion suspected of killing koala at LA Zoo."

This just in: frog implicated in fly massacre.

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Another Rejected Before & After Puzzle: Clinton Foundation Garment"


:waveflag:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Politics has always been fierce. Harrison once called an opponent a "bounder" and a "prevaricator." Ouch!!"


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Notice to new followers: Admission fee lowered to $10 today only."


"Now that you're all here, I'd like to talk to you about @Herbalife."



:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I had some business with Alex Trebek today. Always great to see him, and I can use the extra insurance."

"Picked out my tombstone this morning. It reads: "R _ P Can I buy a vowel?" Hoping not to use it for a while."

"I'm getting off the fence. All in for Rubio!!"



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Let's try this: You can vote for anyone for Prez. Most votes wins. (Risks Kardashian presidency, but what the heck.)"


(From St. Patrick's Day)
@patsajak

"As we Poles say: Wesołego dnia Świętego Patryka!"

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I'm so excited about my Earth Hour Party tonight. They just delivered extra generators to handle the outdoor overflow."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Aside from grammatical issues, I found this sign on a nearby mailbox strangely sad."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Latest Facebook stat: 56% of all photos posted since 2013 feature at least one tongue being stuck out."


No way...

:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I miss the debates. Maybe I'll watch some old WWE matches tonight to fill the void."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Discovered that filling out my brackets after the games dramatically increases accuracy."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"So saddened by the death of Garry Shandling. Brilliantly funny guy. And a sweetheart, too. Did his show twice. RIP."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Batman v Superman is a very powerful film. It has to be to ruin two franchises at once."


:G-Dub: :animated_bye_bye_em

[fleet]

@patsajak

"A wonderful Easter morning with my family watching the help hunt for eggs. My money's on the chauffeur this year."



:lol:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Churchill worth repeating: Capitalism's vice: unequal sharing of blessings. Socialism's virtue: equal sharing of miseries."


"It probably doesn't mean anything, but if you rearrange the letters in DonaldHillary, you can spell Dollar Handily."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I love twitter outrage. You can actually feel the anger coming through the fingers. Typing and snarling. Kinda cute."



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"When are we going to stop mocking and marginalizing fools every April 1? They have rights, too! #SafeSpacesForFools"



:D

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Bad news. Test marketing of the "Pat Sajak Strength & Nutrition Bars" failed miserably. May try reverse mortgages."


"If they had two political parties that held primaries on DC Comics' Bizarro World, they might look a lot like ours."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Good news for those of you who hear my voice in your head: I'm now broadcasting in Dolby Surround Sound."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Please raise awareness."



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"We must deal with our crumbling infrastructure.

Meantime, I might start wearing Spanx."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Did another 5K run today.

I can't believe people are willing to pay me 5K to be in their races."



#kingofcomedy

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Important race over in NY.


Pens beat Rangers."



#datsbad

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Vanna and I are thrilled to be on the new $100 bill. Although I don't understand the donkey on reverse side."



#goldstarsforeveryone!


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Common question in 40 years: "Hey, Grandma & Grandpa, where were those tattoos located when you first got them?"



lol

[intocarss]

PURE GOLD!!! :thumbsup:

[fleet]

PURE GOLD!!! :thumbsup:

#freegoldforeverybody!

:D

[fleet]

@patsajak


"It's Earth Day. Bought it a wallet. Hope it likes it."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I like the blue check mark for verified users. Now Twitter needs another icon for dense ones. (None of my followers!)"


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I'm very proud to have been named Marco Rubio's running mate. On to Indiana!"


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Signed multi-million dollar deal with @ReebokHockey.

Actually, no $$ changed hands, but I got a free hat. #ItsYourGame"

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Found outside my door this morning. No safe space! May have to burn a few cars after brunch."


:lolhit:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Pundit: (noun) An expert, usually political, who offers analyses & predictions that are often valued & generally wrong."


#Yep

[fleet]

@patsajak

"MLB asking fans to vote early and vote often for All-Star Game. Hey, I'm from Chicago. I know all about that!"

:shakehead:

#deadmenvoteinChitown

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Okay, no more vacillating. I'm all in for Cruz!"



:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Getting all geared up for tomorrow's Seis de Mayo festivities!"


:theresa:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"My Stanley Cup final between @LAKings and @washcaps looking shaky."



:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I have to pee, but I'm going to hold it until we get this whole thing figured out."


:drowninga:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Breaking Hollywood scandal: De Niro & Pacino actually same person."


:wow:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"#selfie test"


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Don't vote until you weigh celebrity endorsements.

We are on tv and in the movies. Some of us act or sing. We're cool."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Associated Press reportedly ready to announce winner of November election later today."


#canalwater

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Scary stat for @SanJoseSharks & @cavs. No team has lost 4 games in #StanleyCupFinal or #NBAFinals*and then won series."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Before the name gets changed--and it will--Happy Father's Day tomorrow, dads."


:rolleyes:

[fleet]

@patsajak via twitter...

"Tim Stanley in @Telegraph: Tip for winning elections: don’t call electorate “thick” or “losers." It, er, turns them off."


#brexit

:animated_bye_bye_em

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Lots of Hollywood celebs say they'll move to Canada or Europe if Trump elected, even though Mexico is closer. #confused"



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Please hold. Your call is important to us, although not important enough to hire enough people to answer phones."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I wonder what else it isn't for."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I program a woman's voice on my GPS because I'm used to a woman's voice in my car telling me where to turn."


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I have the uneasy feeling a lot of Americans would be ok with a foreign takeover if they could keep phones & Internet."

#Yep

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I'm not sure why, but every commercial with a tie-in for a new movie makes me not want to see movie nor buy product."

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Who knew that zombies were merely people searching for Pokémon?"


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Found one!"


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Whoever thought a presidential election might come down to one candidate's tweets vs. another's emails?"

[fleet]

@patsajak

"You're so vain, you probably think this tweet is about you."


#tbt1972

lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Some groups predicting end of the world tonight. Have already taped several weeks of "Wheel" for new season. Bummer."


:animated_bye_bye_em

lol

[intocarss]

:trophy-1302:

[fleet]

:trophy-1302:

Thanks Jer. :thumbsup:

Any success I have I owe to all the little people that helped me along the way.

:P

5b_n39kHflg

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Trade deadline close. Looks like White/Trebek swap won't happen. Hangups include wardrobe and pronouncing "z" as "zed."

-------------------------------------------------

My response was...

"Trebek (a Canuck) ain't a game changer, but at least he ain't a lyrics changer neither. ;)

#itried


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Toying with dropping Bonus Round this coming season and instead awarding participation trophies to all three players."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"When writing in my name on presidential ballot in November, don't forget that "Sajak" ends with a "k" and not a "ck"."


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Shelfie"


:badidea:


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Ready to start taping as soon as I finish my suction cup treatment."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Ran into George Soros at bowling alley last night. Not an evil billionaire, but a fun guy. Surprised he rents shoes."


#fatalfungusshoes?

:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Tough day. Robbed at gunpoint on my way to my backyard swimming pool. I'll report it later. Sun's too good right now."


:lol:

#LochteGate part deux?

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Monosyllabic has five syllables. #Irony"

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Some things are really cool!"

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I don't endorse candidates, and people who vote based on recommendation of "celebrities" should not be allowed to vote."


lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"No longer standing for Sunday Night Football theme."


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Started washing my hands after using restaurant men's room. Then saw sign saying only employees had to. Embarrassing."


:P


"It takes a village doctor."


lol



"For you fans of reruns, sorry to report that new episodes of Wheel start Monday."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I haven't seen this much excitement about a new phone since the Princess was introduced."

"Going on picnic tomorrow. Should be fun. All set with my keg of beer, cooler of soft drinks & basket of deplorables."


:lol:

[fleet]

@patsajak

"I love awards shows. They help make up for the fact that we get so little recognition and reward for what we do."


:P

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Just for the record, I'm probiotic and antibacterial."



lol

[fleet]

@patsajak

"Small health scare. Swelling of my Autumnal Equinox. Doctors optimistic."



:D

[fleet]

@patsajak

"The camera always adds a few pounds."


:popcorn2:

[fleet]

@patsajak


"Another Before & After Rejection: FAMILY GUY DE MAUPASSANT."

-------------------------------------------------

Me? I hate it when I need wikipedia to 'get' the humor. It should be effortless. ;)

[fleet]

@patsajak

"FYI, I am not on Facebook. Nor am I on Lipitor."