One of my Favorite's of all time...

[Ummgawa]

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.

So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious?" He said yes.

I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too!" "Are you Catholic or Protestant ?

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist"

"Wow!" "Me too!" "Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too!" "Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too!" "Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

[Matt@Lateral Dynamics]

As long as we're offending people... :D

Q: What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

A: You can't unload a truck load of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

[Datsbad]

As long as we're offending people... :D

Q: What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

A: You can't unload a truck load of bowling balls with a pitchfork.


You dont have Kids huh?

[Matt@Lateral Dynamics]

You dont have Kids huh? And never will. :)

[JUSTANOVA]

As long as we're offending people... :D

Q: What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

A: You can't unload a truck load of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

you guys crack me up :rofl:

[ArisESQ]

how about this one:

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[Hooligan]

Why can't I own a Canadian? (http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html)

[rwhite692]

And never will. :)

I guess that is a good thing.

[Matt@Lateral Dynamics]

I guess that is a good thing. Damn straight.

[Ummgawa]

I have cool kids. Course they are 19 and 20 years old now. I (we) have a 12 year old daughter who thinks I am superman. Not many folks around that think that much of me anymore. I like it. One is enough, mind you, but she loves it when I take her to school in a car with loud mufflers.

[comp-spec]

As long as we're offending people... :D

Q: What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

A: You can't unload a truck load of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

I have two girls 18 and 19 they also were brought to school in loud cars :D
But anyways that was a tasteless FING joke

[Matt@Lateral Dynamics]

But anyways that was a tasteless FING joke Thanks! :D

[mstennes]

Yea but if the bowling balls were on a truck with a dump chassis that would be easier. More fun too kinda like that sceen from the movie "The Island" where they are throwing train axles off the truck at the chashing cars.
BTW I have 3 kids and they all beg to drive the car :wow:

[Mr.VENGEANCE]

Damn straight.

that MIGHT be the reason why you wont.. ;)

Damn.... STRAIT...
[img]unless you meet Chuck Norris.. he can impregnate a man..

JK!!

[Datsbad]

I would suggest for one who is a sponsor to sit back and think before you click submit !

You never know who you offend.

[comp-spec]

Thanks! :D
wise guy?

[Ummgawa]

I would suggest for one who is a sponsor to sit back and think before you click submit !

You never know who you offend.


Maybe the Friday Funny thing should come to a close. I never dreamed a little laugh would hang a left and end up like this.

Good Night and Good Luck.

[Beegs]

You can weld but your business sense is lacking. :lol:

[Matt@Lateral Dynamics]

You can weld but your business sense is lacking. :lol: Yep. That's probably why my own business failed. So in the interest of customer relations, respect for Mark and due to the fact that my personality is obviously not appreciated here, I'll no longer be posting on this site, as well as pt.com. I'm tired of tip toeing around people with thin skin. I never imagined a bunch of car guys would need to be in such a politically correct environment.

[XcYZ]

Wow, you up and quit because people don't like your sense of humor? Well, do what you have to do. Good luck.