Talk to your kids!!! Don't forget to LISTEN too.........

[HEEP]

So tonight, my neighbor two doors away had a son that took his life today. Just came in from outside after the police and ambulance and family left. I have no words to describe what went on. But I told my two that no matter what it is, how bad it was, even if I was going to be really mad, I'll get over it, but to please talk to us. Then I hugged them and told them I loved them. My neighbor couldn't do that tonight.

[DBasher]

Bill that's sad to hear, unfortunately kids and adults get to such a dark place they feel they have no way out.

I couldn't agree more about talking and listening you your kids.

Dan

[Shmoov69]

Wow..... I'm sorry for that. I can't imagine being the parents. I also can't imagine being in such a dark place and the amount of despair to feel there's no way out. I thank The Lord I know Him!

[jy211]

damn....:shakehead: sorry

[HEEP]

Well, it's morning for me. not sure how in the world the dad is making it today. I've been praying for this family and thinking about what is going on in their mind this morning.

This kid planned the whole thing. Right down to making sure his new dog lived by putting him in a room with the windows open.

Not really sure what to do here at this point. Not sure how I can help this family.

[Evan Iroc-Z]

This is such a sad story. I am not sure how I would cope.

This unfortunately is my biggest fear with my oldest child. He has depression, anxiety, adhd, odd (oppositional defiance disorder), autism, and mood disorder.

When he gets down, he really gets down. I ask him every day "how's it going", "is there anything at all you want to talk about", and every day I get a "fine" or "no", he's the typical teenager. I really hope it's sinking in that I am there for him no matter what and no matter the situation.

My thought and prayers go out to the grieving family.

[glassman]

Gut wrenching to hear this. Very. I dont know why, but i really take this too heart. We have mental health issues that run in my family, and my wife's. Its an invisible tough, in other words, you cant see/smell/touch the issues but there there. My oldest has issues with depression, anxiety and has an education in this (Masters in Physcology and working on his Doctorate).

Mental health is not a rare occurance this day. The hurt runs soooo deep when an even like this occurs, i cant even know how they'll cope, prayers are the only thing i know of that we can do.

Godspeed, be with the family but in His time, your friends here at Lat-g are with you....

[CamaroMike]

My neighbor/friend two doors down did the same thing recently. He would stop by and check out the cars and chat, I knew him since we were kids. Still not sure why he did it and miss talking to him, you never know what people are going through.

[Ron in SoCal]

So sad. I hope the family finds peace one day. Not sure that ever goes away...

[HEEP]

Haven't talked to the family since that night. I do know they came back home. This surprised me. I'm not sure if I ever could. Looks like alot of family have been in. My wife went to see them yesterday afternoon, and they were supposed to go today to make arrangements.

[Code510]

That's crazy. Acquaintance of mine did the same thing last week. Early in the week he had hair down to his shoulders. Cut it all off, donated it locks of love. Posts on FB seemed normal, nothing depressing, his usual jokes and what not. Then late last week he walked into a hospital, told them that he wanted all his organs donated, walked outside on the curb, shot himself in the head. Really strange and shocking.

Just never know what's going through peoples heads. I always said suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but I've never been in their shoes either.

[Vegas69]

It's a terrible epidimic that is rampant in this country. Man, I feel for all that have lost loved ones to suicide. It's tough to find peace.

I've studied happiness, fulfillment, optimism, and faith very consistently in the recent past. I'm on my at least my 7th book and it's been very enlightining. My studies have ranged from psychology, science, to religion.

The average onset of depression is now 15 years of age. Fifty years ago, it was 29. If you are concerned about your child, you can have them take a simple test for depression. You can also test there pessimism vs. optimism. These tests are in this book:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=learned%20optimism&sprefix=learned%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Alearned%20optimism
I would be very concerned about a child or teenager suffering from depression or pessimism. There are ways we can influence our children from day one that can make them less susceptible to depression and more optimistic. For instance: Everynight before bed, discuss all the positive things that happened vs. the negative. It's easy to find many more positives than negatives. It conditions them to see things positively. Of course, seek a professional if in doubt.

There are many factors to what's going on in the country.

The maximum self: Relying on yourself for strength and fulfillment. Self is a very poor foundation for sustainable strength and fulfillment. We must have faith in a higher power and help other's with their lives. GOD, Family, Country is a perfect way to end this short paragraph.

Influence/Associations: Never underestimate the power of influence and associations. We influence 10,000 people in our lives. The age of facebook, fox news, smart phones, video games are a horrible influence on kids and you and me. You can't absorb excessive negativity and not have it effect your life. We must teach our kids and ourselves to tune out influence like a radio station. As importantly, we must subject ourselves to positive influence: Church, Books, Positive People, Inpirational CD's... I strive for an hour everyday of my life. It's made a huge difference for me. If you think in positive ways, you will attract positive circumstances. The same holds true for negative thoughts. Remember, what you sow, you shall reap.

Easy Life: Let's face it, we have it so damn easy in the country. As I sit here in my air conditioned house, hooked to the world wide web, can have a pizza dilvered to my door, and can exist with very little effort. That's one of the problems. When we work for something whether it's a home cooked meal, pulling some weeds in the garden, or a hard day's work, we feel good about it. We must be productive to be happy and fulfilled. Life has become very easy and it's a problem. Think of a farmer. Prepared his land, Planted his crops, harvested his crops, fed his family, and stored it for the winter. Hard work and costant growth in our lives must be a constant.

Perspective: It seems to me that American's don't think this country is as great as it used to be. That the opportunties no longer exist. That success is not as achievable as it used to be. In many ways, this country has never been greater than it is today. Don't let this perspective consume you. America is still the land of the free, it's still the best place on this earth to live. We are all born with the chance to be somebody in this country. Separate yourself from the conformity that has run wild. Be different, make it happen.

I've covered more of this subject in Healthy 101. I'm by no means an expert or a doctor but I have made a study of this subject and it's had a profound effect on my mind and spirit.

[Shmoov69]

No true'r words have been said than that man. Thanks!!:trophy-1302:

[Vegas69]

:cheers: If it influences one person and their family postively, it was well worth the time.

[Ricochet]

So tonight, my neighbor two doors away had a son that took his life today. Just came in from outside after the police and ambulance and family left. I have no words to describe what went on. But I told my two that no matter what it is, how bad it was, even if I was going to be really mad, I'll get over it, but to please talk to us. Then I hugged them and told them I loved them. My neighbor couldn't do that tonight.

Very sorry to read this. I feel for the family. No parent should EVER have to bury their child, especially under circumstances like this. They will question themselves for the rest of their lives thinking they did something wrong. It's hard for me to comprehend that life could get that bad - but it happens more and more. Depression is something that most of us can't or ever will understand. Like cancer, it has no boundaries. It can effect anybody - no matter how good their life may look on the outside. Take Robin Williams for example.


It's a terrible epidimic that is rampant in this country. Man, I feel for all that have lost loved ones to suicide. It's tough to find peace.

I've studied happiness, fulfillment, optimism, and faith very consistently in the recent past. I'm on my at least my 7th book and it's been very enlightining. My studies have ranged from psychology, science, to religion.

The average onset of depression is now 15 years of age. Fifty years ago, it was 29. If you are concerned about your child, you can have them take a simple test for depression. You can also test there pessimism vs. optimism. These tests are in this book:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=learned%20optimism&sprefix=learned%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Alearned%20optimism
I would be very concerned about a child or teenager suffering from depression or pessimism. There are ways we can influence our children from day one that can make them less susceptible to depression and more optimistic. For instance: Everynight before bed, discuss all the positive things that happened vs. the negative. It's easy to find many more positives than negatives. It conditions them to see things positively. Of course, seek a professional if in doubt.

There are many factors to what's going on in the country.

The maximum self: Relying on yourself for strength and fulfillment. Self is a very poor foundation for sustainable strength and fulfillment. We must have faith in a higher power and help other's with their lives. GOD, Family, Country is a perfect way to end this short paragraph.

Influence/Associations: Never underestimate the power of influence and associations. We influence 10,000 people in our lives. The age of facebook, fox news, smart phones, video games are a horrible influence on kids and you and me. You can't absorb excessive negativity and not have it effect your life. We must teach our kids and ourselves to tune out influence like a radio station. As importantly, we must subject ourselves to positive influence: Church, Books, Positive People, Inpirational CD's... I strive for an hour everyday of my life. It's made a huge difference for me. If you think in positive ways, you will attract positive circumstances. The same holds true for negative thoughts. Remember, what you sow, you shall reap.

Easy Life: Let's face it, we have it so damn easy in the country. As I sit here in my air conditioned house, hooked to the world wide web, can have a pizza dilvered to my door, and can exist with very little effort. That's one of the problems. When we work for something whether it's a home cooked meal, pulling some weeds in the garden, or a hard day's work, we feel good about it. We must be productive to be happy and fulfilled. Life has become very easy and it's a problem. Think of a farmer. Prepared his land, Planted his crops, harvested his crops, fed his family, and stored it for the winter. Hard work and costant growth in our lives must be a constant.

Perspective: It seems to me that American's don't think this country is as great as it used to be. That the opportunties no longer exist. That success is not as achievable as it used to be. In many ways, this country has never been greater than it is today. Don't let this perspective consume you. America is still the land of the free, it's still the best place on this earth to live. We are all born with the chance to be somebody in this country. Separate yourself from the conformity that has run wild. Be different, make it happen.

I've covered more of this subject in Healthy 101. I'm by no means an expert or a doctor but I have made a study of this subject and it's had a profound effect on my mind and spirit.

Very well written Todd! Some great insight and advice! Thanks for sharing!

[Vegas69]

:cheers:

[Build-It-Break-it]

What Todd wrote is exactly how I feel to. If people stopped spending time with there Cellphones, internet, Facebook etc and started spending more time with there kids, things like this can be avoided.

A Coworker of mines kid committed suicide about two years ago. He use to brag about how committed to his job he was and how he worked all the overtime they would ask him to and wouldn't see or spend time with his family. Before his son died he was mad at me for never working overtime and we actually got in an agreement about it. I simply replied, "seeing my 74 year old mom everyday, my wife and my 16 year old daughter is far more important then any job". I'd rather loose my job for refusing overtime then loose a family member and have never been able to spend time with them. Now my coworkers son is gone, what good was all that overtime and impressing the boss now that his son is gone.

Pay attention to your kids, family members etc. Stop letting the teachers , computers and TVs raise them. I guarantee this could of been caught earlier and avoided.