GMTILT
07-01-2014, 03:36 PM
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very
blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment, and said ‘How should I
know, that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up. The husband said, ‘Who was
that?’
The wife answered, ‘I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk
and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, ‘Hmm,
this person looks familiar.’
The second blonde says, ‘Here, let me see!’
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy, it’s me!’
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a
gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she
finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She
opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with
grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, ‘No, honey, don’t do it!!!’
The blonde replies, ‘Shut up, you’re next!’
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says,
‘Go ahead, ask me… I know ‘em all.’
A friend says, ‘OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?’
The blonde replies, ‘Oh, that’ s easy. Its W.’
FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: ‘Is it mine?’
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government
class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, ‘That was the decision George
Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ‘
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and
burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The
police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling
nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer ap proached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran
out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down
on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, ‘I come home to find
all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND COP!’
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very
blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment, and said ‘How should I
know, that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up. The husband said, ‘Who was
that?’
The wife answered, ‘I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk
and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, ‘Hmm,
this person looks familiar.’
The second blonde says, ‘Here, let me see!’
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy, it’s me!’
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a
gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she
finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She
opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with
grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, ‘No, honey, don’t do it!!!’
The blonde replies, ‘Shut up, you’re next!’
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says,
‘Go ahead, ask me… I know ‘em all.’
A friend says, ‘OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?’
The blonde replies, ‘Oh, that’ s easy. Its W.’
FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: ‘Is it mine?’
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government
class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, ‘That was the decision George
Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ‘
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and
burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The
police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling
nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer ap proached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran
out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down
on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, ‘I come home to find
all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND COP!’