Jeff Foxworthy 'YMBAR'

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors:

Daily #redneckjokes:

#YMBAR…if your one phone call from jail is to someone in another jail.


lol...I hadn't thought of that.

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors:
Daily #redneckjokes:

"#YMBAR...if you are the legal heir to a fireworks stand."


The stuff dreams are made of...


:lol:

[Track Junky]

If you mow your lawn and you find a car

[fleetus macmullitz]

If you mow your lawn and you find a car

Agreed. :D

Years ago I bought my son one of Foxworthy's YMBAR daily calendars and this one has stuck with me;

YMBAR if the last thing your ex said to you was 'It's me...or them dawgs!'

[Track Junky]

If your grand ma doesn't take the cigarette butt out of her mouth while she's telling the CHP officer to kiss her ass.........

[fleetus macmullitz]

If your grand ma doesn't take the cigarette butt out of her mouth while she's telling the CHP officer to kiss her ass.........

:D

@foxoutdoors:

"Only a #redneck can turn hay bales and a tarp into a pool this luxurious."

http://t.co/DyXkVGFIIN

[samckitt]

YMBAR if you have ever used a Pop can to fix your truck.

http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/redneck-engineering-funny-pictures-6.jpg


Or to fix your shower:

http://img.izismile.com/img/img6/20130712/640/classic_redneck_engineering_jobs_640_11.jpg

[fleetus macmullitz]

Those were funny Scot. :thumbsup:

Since Sajak has been slumping (lol), we'll step it down a notch with some of these. :unibrow:

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@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

"#YMBAR...if everyone gets out of the public pool when you get in."

"#YMBAR...if you think people with grass in their yards are uppity."

"#YMBAR...if your kid's birthday party activities included a rabbit-skinning contest."

"#YMBAR...if you've asked for an ashtray during a job interview."

"#YMBAR...if you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth."

#YMBAR...if any of the blankets on your bed came from U-Haul.

[Code510]

Those were funny Scot. :thumbsup:

Since Sajak has been slumping (lol), we'll step it down a notch with some of these. :unibrow:

-----------------------------------------------------------------

@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

"#YMBAR...if everyone gets out of the public pool when you get in."

"#YMBAR...if you think people with grass in their yards are uppity."

"#YMBAR...if your kid's birthday party activities included a rabbit-skinning contest."

"#YMBAR...if you've asked for an ashtray during a job interview."

"#YMBAR...if you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth."

#YMBAR...if any of the blankets on your bed came from U-Haul.




Always classic!

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

#YMBAR...if you list "beginner's luck" as a skill on a job application.


lol

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

"#YMBAR...if you're making payments on more than one wedding ring."


:disgusted:


lol

[Ummgawa]

#YMBAR if you've ever won the "best scar" contest at a family reunion.

[Ummgawa]

#YMBAR if you've ever taken a dump so big, you saved it for your buddy to see.

And your wife was cool with it.

[fleetus macmullitz]

^^^^^^^

:waveflag:

lol


@and_crazyfarm: @foxoutdoors

"fixed it redneck style"

[glassman]

What does YMBAR mean? is that just his twitter #?

[Track Junky]

What does YMBAR mean? is that just his twitter #?

Think about it Mike :lol:

[fleetus macmullitz]

What does YMBAR mean? is that just his twitter #?

Ok, one hint below Mike. :)

Think about it Mike :lol:

:D

You...
M
B
A
R

[glassman]

Ugh....right there under my big Italian nose....

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

#YMBAR...if you moved into a double-wide to accommodate your widescreen TV.


:tv_happy:

???


lol

[ProTouring442]

If you own seven motor vehicles, and only one of them runs...


Cars:
1. 1972 442 convertible (project)
2. 1989 Jeep Grand Wagoneer (engine/trans "swap")
3. 1993 BMW M5 (crank hub went)
4. 1999 Mercedes SLK230 (Hey, this one runs!)

Motorcycles:
1. 1969 Triumph Bonneville (in pieces)
2. 1976 Kawasaki KZ750T (Café Racer Project)
3. 1991 Suzuki VX800 (fuel tank/paint)

Seven freaking vehicles. One of them runs. I can't even use my riding lawn mower at the moment, a house wren has made a nest in it and laid eggs (hatched yesterday). :headspin:

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

#YMBAR... if you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

#YMBAR...if the cigarette lighter in your car is your wife.

#YMBAR... if your honeymoon was videotaped from a police dashboard camera.


:waveflag:


lol

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

"#YMBAR...if you've ever slow danced at a Waffle House."

:shakehead:


lol

[intocarss]

Gold Cozmo Gold

[fleetus macmullitz]

Gold Cozmo Gold

Thanks Jer...I strive for a Kenny Bania level of success in life.

:badidea:

lol


@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

"#YMBAR...if your favorite cologne is Deep Woods Off."


I think there's already a thread on this.


:hello:

[fleetus macmullitz]

@foxoutdoors: Daily #redneckjokes:

"#YMBAR...The local blood mobile truck is an ice cream truck on weekends."

[Shmoov69]

Don't know if they his, but they funny! :sieg:

You know you are a redneck When


1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. '

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Two good ol' boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the Local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it makes us even!

[jarhead]

Don't know if they his, but they funny! :sieg:

You know you are a redneck When


1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.


Two good ol' boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the Local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it makes us even!

These two literally had me reaching for the kleenex box, LMAO!:lmao: :lmao:

[fleetus macmullitz]

cCmD1pGZcoA


https://youtu.be/cCmD1pGZcoA?si=4u64nPcvNppPaTFd

[fleetus macmullitz]

Jeff’s family provides all the material…lol

l1KtQssK5-g

https://youtu.be/l1KtQssK5-g?si=tB3MfjGAN00mGw6I

[jarhead]

Jeff’s family provides all the material…lol

l1KtQssK5-g

https://youtu.be/l1KtQssK5-g?si=tB3MfjGAN00mGw6I

Funny stuff Skip, made my day

[fleetus macmullitz]

Funny stuff Skip, made my day

Glad to hear it Joe.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[fleetus macmullitz]

Hilarious!

ZWRwQ38qq6s

https://youtu.be/ZWRwQ38qq6s?si=NPrZc7spz0NJmIpF