Affordable Boat Act

[Lenie]

Affordable Boat Act


The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014.
These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each.
This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined
$800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...it's only fair.
The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers.
Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..


Yea...it's that stupid...

[glassman]

Ha! Exactly...can we just substitute the word "boat" with "gun"? Cause i cant afford one, only the elite can lol...

[ErikLS2]

Love this! Thanks for totally pissing me off though!:lol:

[cluxford]

Does this comply, I just picked it up last week

http://cdn.carthrottle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/BoatCar600.jpg

[luismag7]

Well said Lenie. Sounds obseerd when you put it like that but its exactly how it works. Maybe will need those boats after all to get us out of the sea of debt we're getting ourselves into.

[GregWeld]

Not sure how I missed this one -- hysterical!


A buddy of mine - a lawyer - who lives in an 8 million dollar house - is all for "insuring everyone" - "because otherwise they don't have access to healthcare".


He doesn't buy the fact *my argument to him* that EVERYONE in America gets healthcare whether they pay for it directly or not…. That even two gangbangers that have had a shootout in the city - killing or injuring 10 or 15 innocent people - will be LIFE FLIGHTED to a hospital should they need it - and will be cared for for life on a respirator - should they need it. They don't have to pay or do a single thing.

What we DID NOT DO with the healthcare law is address any COSTS of healthcare - which is the real issue for most. Insurance is high - because medical treatments are out of control. WE did nothing to address that.

[Ron in SoCal]

(Dedicated to Lenie!)

(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?

(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers
stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your
exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by
the end of November. But I can help you.

(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary,
and wanted it delivered to my wife.

(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our
minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

(Customer) But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it for
years, my wife likes them.

(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love
them.

(Customer) Well, how much are they?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or
Platinum package.

(Customer) What's the difference?

(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?

(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?

(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy,
then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be.
But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can
refer you to our FlowerAid department.

(Customer) FlowerAid?

(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to
flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them
free of charge.

(Customer) Who said they were a Right?

(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the
Supreme Court found it Constitutional.

(Customer) Whoa.....I don't remember seeing anything in the
Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.

(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but
ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a
"Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.

(Customer) I don't believe this...

(Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most
people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income
sir?

(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly
income.

(Customer) Why?

(Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would
be.

(Customer) WHAT? Your can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!

(Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme
Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....

(Customer - interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50..

(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income,
whichever is greater.

(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!

(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be
2%.

(Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's
going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.

(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA track
this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are
using.

(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM
USING?

(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir

(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)

(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling
ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America.

[Rick D]

Nice Ron!!:thumbsup:

:hairpullout: :hairpullout: :cheering: :cheering: :cheering: :rofl: :rofl:

(Dedicated to Lenie!)

(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?

(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers
stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your
exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by
the end of November. But I can help you.

(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary,
and wanted it delivered to my wife.

(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our
minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

(Customer) But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it for
years, my wife likes them.

(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love
them.

(Customer) Well, how much are they?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or
Platinum package.

(Customer) What's the difference?

(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?

(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?

(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy,
then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be.
But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can
refer you to our FlowerAid department.

(Customer) FlowerAid?

(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to
flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them
free of charge.

(Customer) Who said they were a Right?

(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the
Supreme Court found it Constitutional.

(Customer) Whoa.....I don't remember seeing anything in the
Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.

(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but
ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a
"Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.

(Customer) I don't believe this...

(Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most
people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income
sir?

(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly
income.

(Customer) Why?

(Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would
be.

(Customer) WHAT? Your can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!

(Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme
Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....

(Customer - interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50..

(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income,
whichever is greater.

(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!

(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be
2%.

(Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's
going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.

(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA track
this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are
using.

(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM
USING?

(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir

(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)

(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling
ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America.

[66fury]

if this new law is called the affordable care act ,why am i paying so much? if i add up what i pay for healthcare,all my copays to doctors and perscriptions and all the bills that show up for stuff not covered under my so called affordable health care,im forking out over 20k$ a year !!!! regodamndiculous!!!

[Che70velle]

What makes this "program" even more maddening for myself is that members of the house and senate voted themselves out of the "program". They are not required to register for this, making themselves exempt...
Right after they voted that we civilians, must register...
A government for the people? Really?
Don't get me started! I could type for hours...

[tones2SS]

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..
Yea...it's that stupid...

BINGO! Communists will be communists.
Great posting Lenie. :thumbsup: